hi guys its basically summer.

ive been playing persona 4 golden on my vita i genuinely forgot that persona was PEAK. esp with p4r coming next year.. fucj yeah dude. im eating good for the most part. my gpa is an 85😭😭 when the mental is health

its ab to be regents week though so studying is my life. us history, spanish(literally nonfactor), and PHYSICS. and i have freakin amnesia (forgot 80% of the first half of the school year because poopy relationship alongside family factors) so im a tad bit scared but i did get the highest history midterm score so im sure i got ts in the bag. send your thoughts and prayers to me through some method please i highly encourage it.

hopefully i can finish my about me page soon??

ALSO IM GOING TO INTERLOCHEN SUMMER ARTS CAMP IN JULY SO YAY

kill that emo fucker underneath me oh my lordy lord (as of 7/9 hes gone. i need to actually fix ts blog)

only reason im not deleting that is for preservations sake(🌚).. oh my god i wanna delete it

ive found some degree of mental stability and im really proud of it. new routines, new me, new clothes, new hell yeah n more singing to learn

also isn't it silly how much society revolves around performance?? i was thinking about it earlier but we're so deep into post irony that if i were to tell someone im a feminist they'd think its purely for performance because i guess you can only be a good person ironically. i noticed it more when a guy in my program(i had basically just met him that day, but hes one of those guys that kinda just repeats whats mainstream funny but isn't really funny at all with it ykwim) told this girl that hes a feminist, and i have no idea whether or not he was being deadass (i kind of doubt it because i really don't think that's something that NEEDS announcing) but me and my friend instantly starting cheesing bcs yk damn well no knitter in this day and age means that shit.

but literally instantly i thought "wait what if hes being deadass??" and now we're here. i feel like a large part of the performance now a days is the fact that you feel the need to announce it, but i know most people will stretch it way further such as (using feminism as an example because it literally is the main one sadly)

"dont call her a bitch thats disrepectful"

"performative ass lmao gtfo"

anything that really deviates from the norm is seen as performative because everything is ironic. everything is a performance technically, yeah, but i really do feel like women are equal to men and shouldn't be paid less or have to be 20x more aware when walking outside and shouldnt be objectified and should be able to live js like men do but does the perfomance lie in the announcement of these things or js in beliefs that deviate from the norm??

idgaf if im called performative though js pondering

6'1 btw